I too went through the phase "I wish I'd known..."
For a minute.
But that thought did create a storehouse of information
I've wanted to write down for other parents raising children now.
So add this list to your survival packs kids, and take some time to get still(riiiight)
and just reflect.
1. Parenting is freaking HARD EXHAUSTING BORING and TEDIOUS.
Your life is certainly no longer your own, and don't be surprised if you
find yourself in the midst of a great big ole identity crisis.
2. Acceptance is key. Accept that it is hard, exhausting, boring, and tedious.
What you resist persists. Trust Granny on this one.
3. There is no such thing as a PERFECT PARENT.
Quit comparing. If we all threw our shit down
in a great big pile-we'd all pick our own back up again.
4. Create a support group around you. If you have no family or friends
look for a support group on line. There are tons.
We cannot do this alone. None of us.
We're all just walking each other home. I truly believe this
5. If you think you might have ADHD or one of your kids or your spouse,
Do yourself a favor and seek out a Psychiatrist who specializes in ADHD
or at least has experience treating ADHD patients.
6. Along with a Psychiatrist that specializes or has experience
find a therapist who has experience treating ADHD patients.
7. Never, ever hesitate to fire any Psychiatrist or therapist
that you think is not listening to you or serving you in your best interest.
They work for you. You are paying them. I went through my share finding good ones.
8. Don't lie to the professional you hire.
They need honesty in order to utilize their skills to the fullest.
Don't worry about the outcome of ADHD testing. If you are being
honest with yourself and suspect you have ADHD you probably do.
So whatever testing you go through, go through it honestly and giving it your best.
9. I cannot stress enough how important it is to be an empowered patient.
Educate, Educate, Educate yourself. We only go through this life once so
get interested in yourself! What makes you tick. I've included my favorite resources
at the top of the page. There are many more.
Stick with the facts and the Professionals.
Stick with the facts and the Professionals.
Lots of misinformation abounds.
10. Big reactions never got anyone anywhere, especially when dealing with healthcare
professionals. So find your zen place before your appointment and practice non-reaction
in your life. You can do this. I did. Sometimes appointments get changed, or take awhile to
get. That is life. Accept it.
11. It may take a few tries before you hit upon the right doc, therapist, and medication.
So understand this going in and accept it. It feels really crappy to be frustrated and angry.
Even though I really don't feel like an adult, I know I am one, and that means handling
frustration in a mature adult manner. Acceptance is key.
12. Un-invite any and all people from ADHD conversations if they don't believe it's real.
Or if they have not bothered to educate themselves about ADHD.
And I mean all people.
And I mean all people.
That includes parents, siblings, spouses, and even children too.
It can be done.
I did it and my levels of frustration and irritation went way down.
I did it and my levels of frustration and irritation went way down.
At first, especially if its family they may keep trying to engage you. Stand firm, and say
"I don't have ADHD conversations with people who have not educated themselves about it.
If need be repeat that over and over, eventually they give up.
13. The ONLY person who really needs to understand the diagnosis is you. And it's not true that
you "need" family to understand it. It would be great if they did, but lot's of times they don't.
That's ok. You can find plenty of intelligent, understanding people elsewhere.
14. Lastly(yep I never shut up)learn how to laugh at yourself.
You are fine just the way you are.
Life is short. Be kind to yourself. Hug your kids.
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